Help! My Back Pain is Killing My Sex Life!

BioSpine Institute

Is it just me?

Have you found your back pain and sex life have something in common. Are you hesitant do discuss with your doctor whether your sex life is flagging because of back pain? Well, you’re certainly not alone. In fact, this is one of the top concerns we hear from patients every day – patients of both genders, and of all ages!

Why is it happening?

There are two main reasons back pain and sex are linked.

  1. The movements and position(s) you and your partner used during sex may be triggering your pain.
  2. The other reason is that chronic, untreated back pain can cause depression and anxiety,  both of which have an effect on your sex drive. So, you may just not feel like it anymore.

What can I do about back pain and sex life?

The most important thing you can do is talk to your partner about your back pain and sex life. Discuss the issue openly with your partner. If you suddenly have no interest in sex, or you tend to cut it short when your partner is ready to go all night, then he or she is probably going to wonder what’s going on.

Mix it up!

Depending on the level of your back pain, you may be sidelined until is treated through conservative pain management or surgery.  But if your level of back pain is such that your usual positions are causing you pain, then it’s time to get creative! Here are a few positions that might work better:

  • Find positions that take strain off the back and, instead, put most of the weight on your knees or elbows.
  • A “spooning” position where both partners lie on their sides can relieve the back of painful pressure.
  • Positions where the suffering partner can lie down flat on their back tend to put the least amount of stress and pressure on the back.

Talk with your Doctor

Your doctor can only help back pain and sex life if they know what’s bothering you. Know that you are not alone and be open about how you’re feeling and be receptive to your doctor’s recommendations about medications, exercises, psychotherapy or surgical interventions.

Don’t Suffer Silently

Sex and intimacy are critical to a healthy relationship. When back pain and sex life affect each other there are a lot options to help you get back in the sack. Don’t be afraid to face your problem head on – you owe it to yourself (and your partner) to ask for help if you need it.


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